Should I apologize for telling the truth?
What you don't have to apologize for
1. Your feelings
You have a right to feel what you feel. You can cry, be depressed, sad and angry, and laugh - for as long and as often as you want. However, it is good to consider how you express your feelings towards others. If you ever misappropriated in tone or in action, you can apologize for your behavior, but not for your feelings.
2. The feelings of others
If you have chosen your behavior carefully and someone else feels bad about your behavior, this is no reason to feel guilty. Each of us is responsible for our own feelings. We use our evaluation to determine whether we are pleased, indifferent, or hurt by someone else's behavior. More on this in these posts:
How thoughts affect feelings
The ABC of feelings
Self-talk that hurts
Wisdom to feelings
So there is no need to apologize for the appropriate behavior, but you can express your regret that the other is feeling bad.
3. Breaking up with someone who is disrespectful and bullies you.
You are entitled to ensure that others treat you with respect and consider your needs. That is why you can withdraw from people who are not good for you. What applies to shoes also applies to people: if they hurt, they won't fit. If possible, withdraw from these people. Then you have more space in your life for great people you like.
4. A break
As adults, we are responsible for our wellbeing. Only we can judge when our body and soul need a break. You don't have to apologize for needing rest and doing absolutely nothing for a while.
5. Your opinion
Your opinion is your very personal point of view from which you judge the world. A wide variety of aspects flow into your opinion - such as
- Your experiences,
- Your values,
- Your needs,
- Your current mood and physical condition,
- Your preferences and
- the relationship with your counterpart.
Even if your opinion is not always pleasant for others, you are allowed to express it. And if the other reacts hurt, it is because he takes it to heart in a certain way.
6. A no
You have the right to say no if you do not want to fulfill a wish or if you do not want to comply with a request. In some situations, giving the reasons for saying no will make things easier, but you don't have to. More about saying no: learning to say no confidently
7. Your beliefs
You have the right to fight for what you believe in. Even if your beliefs are not up to the norm, you can live by them.
8. The way in which you make your life.
As long as you do not harm other people, you can live as you like - regardless of whether others think this is good. You don't need to feel guilty about it.
9. Your defense
You have the right to defend yourself if you are wronged.
10. When others are apologizing and you are not aware of any guilt.
Sometimes others ask us to apologize for behavior that we cannot see as wrong. If the other is important to us, we can explain our point of view to them, but we don't have to apologize to them.
Discovered things that you apologize and feel guilty about but don't have to? Then, in the future, remind yourself that an apology is only necessary if you have harmed the other person. Learn to stand by yourself, your views, feelings and goals.
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