What are your feelings made of
Feelings - emotions
Do you sometimes get in the way of your own feelings? If so, you can be sure that it's not just you. While we were born with the ability to feel, we were not given the knowledge of how to deal with our feelings. We have to learn that for ourselves.
Some people are overwhelmed by their feelings or feel at the mercy of their feelings. They have not learned to control their emotions and do not know how to influence them. These people have a low level of resilience (inner resistance) and feel at the mercy of their feelings, problems and other people.
So how do feelings arise? Every day a certain "cycle" occurs innumerable times in every person, and most of the time we are not aware of it. This cycle consists of situation, thought, chemical reaction and emotional reaction and works as follows:
1. A situation occurs, something happens.
2. The situation evokes thoughts in you.
3. As a result of these thoughts, a physiological-chemical reaction occurs in your brain.
4. The chemical reaction that arose from your thoughts evokes your feelings.
5. Your feelings then evoke other thoughts of a similar nature, which cause another chemical-emotional reaction, and so on.
This whole process only takes a few seconds, or even milliseconds! If you are not in control of your first reaction - your thoughts about the situation - your feelings will determine the further course of the situation and you will lose control of your feelings.
Any uncontrolled feeling can cause psychological and physical tension - in us and in the people on whom our behavior affects.
Don't get carried away with thoughts that might go like this: "This makes me angry!", "You hurt my feelings.", "Every time I think about it, I could be bursting with anger.", "That has really hit me. "," I can't take it. "," I can't control myself. "," I can't deal with my feelings. "," You know exactly how it affects me. "," I know no longer what I should think. "," I can't help it. "," That's how I am. "," You piss me off. "
If you think this way, you are making yourself a victim of your feelings. There is another way of reacting emotionally and a better way to deal with what is happening to you. Why are we so committed to convincing ourselves that we are upset, hurt, or unhappy when we might as well tell ourselves that we are "in control"?
How much better would it be if we had our reaction - the thoughts that evoke the feelings - under control. This is exactly what you can learn. According to the theory of cognitive behavioral therapy, feelings arise from the way in which we evaluate and interpret situations and people. Anger includes ratings such as "This is unfair. The other person mustn't treat me so mean" or "How could she do that to me. That's mean."
Fear arises when we view situations as dangerous and our ability to cope with the situation as inadequate. We feel sad when we have lost something that is important to us and that we think we absolutely need.
In everyday life we often mix thoughts and feelings. For example, we say, "I feel inferior or guilty. I feel that he rejects me." However, the distinction between thoughts and feelings is very important. Thoughts are subjective and often do not correspond to the facts, we under- or exaggerate what we hear and experience.
Our feelings arise, regardless of whether our thoughts correspond to the facts or not, automatically as a result of our thoughts.
Positive thoughts lead to positive feelings, negative thoughts lead to negative feelings. Psychotherapy, especially cognitive behavioral therapy, is about checking and correcting negative views and thoughts.
There are a number of very instructive experiments on self-awareness that are highly recommended about the influence of our thinking on our feelings. Feelings, even negative ones, can be our friends if we take advantage of the message that they contain.Negative feelings are warning signsthat something in our life is not what we want it to be! If we learn from our negative feelings by deciphering their message, then they are our friends.
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