How do you like coitus

Sapiosexual: genius and coitus

On December 22nd, 2011 I wrote the following lines: «I recently came across a new word on Facebook: sapiosexual. It sounds a little bit spicy and a little poisonous, like chili and peppers put together. And it means something like: 'Someone for whom intelligence is the most sexually attractive attribute'. How wonderful. Sure, I like well-trained forearms, a firm bottom and little stomach in men, but all this without a mind is pointless. So from now on I am an avowed sapiosexual! "

These lines - you will hardly contradict me - are hard to beat in terms of mediocrity. You could say they are downright clumsy. Still - I have long since forgiven myself. First of all, on that day in December, I urgently needed content for my blog “Sex and Sensibility” at the time. Second, I stand by the content; I actually find intelligence and cleverness to be extremely erotic. I love a sharp dialogical ping-pong, an intellectual wrestling in which I feel visibly recognized by my counterpart. And thirdly, I have written other texts in the last seven years, which I at least hope will form a fine-tuned counterbalance to the nine-liner in question.

All the more sobering is the fact that this miniature of all things has been the most clicked text ever since it appeared on With an almost defiant stubbornness, he displaces any competition: reports that have been created during days of agony, glosses, comments, even asparagus recipes and sex toy tests. This nine-line line, it seems, will inevitably become the culmination of my journalistic work. At least, one could say, because the attribute “most clicked” is not to be despised. But how did it come to this?

Maybe, I thought, it's simply the Latin. Let me go back briefly: "Sapio" is the first person singular present indicative of the verb "sapere" and is translated as "I know, I understand, I have taste". If you combine “sapio” with “sexual”, the result is a chic label with which an in principle ancient phenomenon can be lifestyleized in keeping with the current zeitgeist. Because my great-aunt already knew about the erotic potential of spiritual potency, at least she recognized when she missed it. So she kept telling how she ignored a nice but not very clever gardener who wanted to marry her in order to learn English in London and look for something “better”. Of course, she was also looking for status, but she wanted a man who could meet her on an equal footing. Unfortunately no one came after the gardener, and my great-aunt remained unmanned for the rest of her life. It remains to be seen whether she was 96 years old because of this and whether she was in stable health until shortly before her death.

When researching the reasons for the upswing of the sapiosexual label, one quickly comes across the thesis that today, in the age of socio-media homage to permanently filtered fitness models and the collective grazing on telegenic bachelors, the focus on the intellect is a logical counter-trend. If the motto “sexy-is-the-new-smart” prevails, the balance “intelligent-is-the-new-sexy” is needed. An indication of this is that parallel to the success of the dumb TV show "Bachelor", dating platforms such as Ok Cupid and Tinder have integrated the term sapiosexual into their profile masks. There are now Facebook groups such as “Intelligence Is Sexy”, where women and men come together who consider intelligence to be more attractive than outward appearances - after all, the latter disintegrates with increasing age, but spirit remains. 9.7 million people have joined this group alone, almost as many people as Sweden has inhabitants. In order to convey their credo to the outside world, “Intelligence Is Sexy” sells T-shirts with this label for women - and for men those with “Make Intelligence Great Again”. Slogans like: “You don’t need bigger boobs. You need to read better books »- You don't need bigger breasts. You need better books. Or: "I like men with massive throbbing vocabularies" - I love men with heavily pulsating vocabulary. Those who cannot find the latter in analog existence have recently had the opportunity to look for a partner for their IQ on the dating site

The sapiosexual community is now trying to explain the sex appeal of intelligence even scientifically. In this context, a study by the American evolutionary psychologist Geoffrey Miller is mentioned again and again, which is supposed to prove that a man's IQ correlates with the quality of his sperm. It is indeed an attractive assumption, but Tilmann Möltgen, Deputy Head of Urology at Aarau Cantonal Hospital, disagrees. "The quality of the sperm is determined solely on the basis of their mobility, concentration and speed," he explains dryly, "which chromosonal charge they have cannot be determined." He objects, however, that intelligence, or rather being smart, can definitely have an evolutionary advantage, so it makes sense for a smart woman to look for a smart man and vice versa. “Because cunning,” says Möltgen, “is the only advantage we humans have over all other species. Of course, we have to ask ourselves what intelligence is. "

Exactly, and that brings us to the criticism of the term sapiosexual. Purely academically trimmed intelligence does not make sex appeal for a long time. In this respect, my great-aunt might have had to take a closer look at her gardener. Because without humor, self-irony, empathy and good manners, all cunning is nothing (I should have added this in the nine liner above). I've already sent some promising dates on the last tram or insisted that the table we dined at stayed between us. Jörgen, for example (all names have been changed, of course) had promised to lick Greek letters with his tongue while cunnilingus, but he froze into a concrete cone every time I picked him up even a little. Stefan had philosophized breathtakingly about illegal constructs at hedge funds, but he was downright abusive when he noticed that his wine glass was broken because he believed he had swallowed a splinter of glass and was now bleeding to death inside. After these experiences, it hardly astonishes me that on Parship, the largest Swiss dating platform, intelligence ranks seventh as the most important criterion when choosing a partner - after honesty, reliability, humor and loyalty. Note for women as for men.

But back to the “most clicked” attribute. After a detailed analysis, it must be said: Latin was not a decisive factor for this. Much more important is that with "sapiosexual" I used the English, not the German spelling, which infinitely increased the range of my nine-liner - but at the same time made it easy to get out of the car, since many users do not understand the German text at all. The ultimate multiplier is even more sobering: the top position in the Google ranking. Their genesis can be interpreted as follows: We catapulted the term “sapiosexual” onto the web in 2011, that is, very early, three years before the dating apps Tinder and Ok Cupid discovered the term for themselves. So much good timing is what the Google algorithms reward. This means that if you enter the term, the first thing you will see is my «article». That's it. So much for my journalistic work. But hey: the most clicked is the most clicked. After all.